ECHO / cdc tracker

[suvi.]

[div style="width: 430px; line-height: 1.4; text-align: justify; font-family: palatino; font-size: 11px;"][align=center]- HAPPINESS && LOVE -
SUNSHINE, IT IS SHINING GRAY

Seemed more often than not that Kiira failed to smile.  True smiles that is.  For every face and friendly voice, she wore a mask of courtesy.  Perhaps the anxiety-ridden vixen struggled finding reasons, or felt too frightened of every new face to muster something real, but the truth of the matter was plain; Kiira was not happy.

Once, someone had made her happy.  Warm smiles and a nickname only for her.  Once, someone looked to her as their own child, though she knew not where she came from.  Once, someone loved her.  So she'd been happy.  Still rather frightful in nature, but happy.

The pocket watch that bounced on her throat... Once, she thinks, that maybe it had made her happy.  A gift.  Now all she did was frown.  The memory lingered there in the back of her mind, to blurry to see.  Another mystery.

A mystery.  That's all she was, really.  Her frail, glitching form.  No parents.  No memory before the day she woke on a beach.  Tides.  Everywhere she looked, only questions and not a single answer.  Faces she thought she knew but did not recall.  An empty feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Had she been happy before...?  Nothing greeted her in the depths of her mind, but something... Felt wrong. [color=red]W҉h̵̢͡a̵t̕͜'s̸͘ ̵́th̛e u̕҉s͘͠e҉̀ ̷҉͏í̛n̵ ̀f̴̧ee͝l̛i̸̵n͝͏g͡?̴̨̧  No.  She had not been happy, whoever she had been.  Else she those traces of memory wouldn't feel so empty.

So when Kiira stared at her pocket watch, her mitch matched hues uncertainly grazing over the engraving -- two foxes, side by side -- her heart felt heavy.  Perhaps she had not been happy, but perhaps even then, someone had loved her.  That wasn't, the child believes, too much to ask for.  Was it?

Kiira feels rather certain that if someone loved her... She'd be happy.  The questions wouldn't matter so much.  The night wouldn't feel so cold or lonely when she stared at the stars, too restless for sleep.  Did I love you too? She asks silently, running a paw over the image.

I think so.

Beneath the stars, the child sat, their light reflected in dull eyes. The crisp air brushed her fur, growing thicker as the season grew colder.  W҉h̵̢͡a̵t̕͜'s̸͘ ̵́th̛e u̕҉s͘͠e҉̀ ̷҉͏í̛n̵ ̀f̴̧ee͝l̛i̸̵n͝͏g͡?̴̨̧  Tilting her head away from her sole possession, she traced patterns in the sky.  She doesn't recall learning their names, yet she knew them all as if they were old friends.  I remember you so why can't I remember me?

Maybe she was approaching the situation all wrong; perhaps a new angle was required. No matter what, she knew she needed something.  Answers.  Someone who loved her.  Truly loved her.  A̴̷l̸͟l̛ ͠t̶h̕a͏̧̛t̡̀͞'̸s̵͞ ̛͠l͡e҉͏̨f̕ţ̷͡ ͟i͏̢͠s ̢͘͝p̨ai̕n͘͟.͘͟  Someone who'd look for her.  Someone who she made happy.  She wonders if she had made whoever gave her the watch happy.

I had to have mattered to you... To give a gift that felt so sentimental.  So meaningful.  Kiira knew it meant something.  Friendship.  Love.  Something.

It had to.

"... If I found you..." A smile full of hope and wistfulness.  "... Would that make you happy?"  G͏̢o͜҉͝n̕e.̴̨̛ ̴̵̡Al͡l҉ ́g̷on̷͢e̸̢͝.͡ ́͠͡ ̕͟͞T͘͢h̢e͠͡y̨̧'͞r͘͏e͝͏͞ ͝a̛ĺl ͝ǵ̡͝ò̸͏ņe͟.͏̡͢

Neither the stars above nor watch below answered, but she felt lighter, the gears in her brain already turning.  Plans being made.  What was the point of living, afterall, much less in the condition she seemed stuck in, if she wasn't even happy or loved?  Her tribemates... They cared, she knew, but they didn't love her.  What she searched for... Family maybe... An old friend... Something.

All she had was the watch.  The only item she owned or cared about.  Her only lead.  Was the owner one of the foxes, or someone else entirely?  Why did the sight of two make her so sad?  No matter how hard she tried, Kiira failed to muster a face for the foxes, though she feels as if one is her, or meant to be her or who she used to be.  The other... Did their eyes share the same colors or were they different?  G̸̷͝on͜e҉̧.̶͞͝ ̢͝L͢e̸t̸ ͠i̡̢t̨͢ ͜d̛ie.̵̷̀

Whether she was searching for one, or two, she knew she had to find them.  Maybe then she'd be truly happy.  Not just happy in the passing moment, but happy.

Once, someone had loved her.  Once, someone had made her happy.  Once, someone had called her friend.  Once... Someone had been lost.

Once, someone went looking.

Word Count: 737