win or cry - private; morrison

[rhosmari]

She was tittering, hanging on the edge. A small thin line between despair and euphoria. It was tearing her mind a part, destroying who she used to be. And unfortunately she didn't care. She couldn't care about something she hardly realized was happening. Her paws treaded along the thin spit of land that the typhoon often used to get to the mainland. A railroad track that led to nowhere. It was old, rusted, and useless but only for other things. Just one purpose it fulfilled. She was making her way toward the gate. Toward where she knew his head rested, after all the Typhoon had yelled it to the heavens. Proclaimed their joyous victory of how they had beheaded Stryker. A figure she found she no longer cared about in the sense of family. She had become withdrawn from anyone that was related to her. Casted them out subconsciously. She led. She was their Kingpin only.

Her body stopped, paws still before her head lifted up to look at the rotting head upon the gate. It was hardly recognizable save for the horns that adorned the skull that was half covered in flesh now. Her head tilted to the side and suddenly a fear spread through her. A feeling of being so small, so weak. She felt it funneling through and her legs began to tremble. "Dad...." She breathed out, eyes widening and her tail curled against her body. "I'm....things at home are...not good. I'm scared we are going to die out. I'm scared that no one will trust what the Coalition could be. We are damned but we are not useless. Fuck. Even mom....even Ninazu left us." She hissed sharply before her light pink eyes closed tightly. God, she was not a child anymore. She was a killer, a monster. Something to be reckoned with.

So then why didn't she feel that way?